You deserve

I know – I’m supposed to be dishing out the latest Wabuku news and I’m getting there….but another thought hit me really strongly this morning that I can’t very well fit into my next update.  I was listening to music this morning in preparation for my quiet time, singing along (as loud as I wanted since I live in the middle of the jungle and no one could hear me).  This song came on by Natalie Grant, called You Deserve.  I’ve sung along to it before and the line, “You deserve’ has been running through my mind off and on for over a week but I was really humbled by this one line today.   Here’s the basic song, minus all the repeats of the chorus. 

 

How can I come with only this

You are the Lord, wrapped in holiness

But here I am, before you now

Here I am

 

  You deserve

every mountain falling

  You deserve

Every ocean reaching

  You deserve

All creation crying out your word

  You deserve

All of heaven singing

 You deserve

Every nation rising

I have heard

What you want most is my love….

 

How can I be the one your heart aches for

Still can’t believe you say that I am yours

So here I am

Before you now

Here I am

 

  You deserve…

What you want most is my love….

 

The chorus starts talking about all that He deserves.  He is the Creator and Master of everything – above all and deserving of all worship, honor, praise, glory and exaltation.  He is the King of kings and Lord of lords…..and yet, what He wants most is my love.  I was humbled to tears to think that the God of all creation love me and is worthy of complete subjection and submission and yet what He really wants is my love.  Who am I that He should even know my name much less desire to be loved by me?  Pretty powerful truth. 

 

So then I got to thinking about the truth and ramifications of this.  Is it really backed up in Scripture?  Why would He wants that over anything else?  I could write a thesis on this probably but here are some of the things that came to mind this morning.  If I love Him, then I will keep His commandments, according to Jesus anyway.  If I love Him, then I will love His children – and all of those for whom He died.  If I love Him, then my heart will be broken for what His heart is broken for.  If I love Him, then I will submit and yield to Him.  If I love Him, then I will even obey Him, wanting only to please Him and never hurt or disappoint Him.  If I love Him, then I trust Him.  If I love Him, then I will seek His company often – and thus become more like Him.  If I love Him, then others will see that love too and be drawn to Him.  If I love Him, then nothing else will tempt me to ignore or become indifferent to Him.  If I love Him, then I will be much about His work, serving in His strength.  If I love Him, then I will choose fellowship with Him over anything else, such as sin which would break that fellowship.  I’m sure I could say more but I was quickly convinced that my love is really what He wants.  And even in that, it’s actually for my good that I love Him too.  I am loved by Him and I receive a ton of benefits by loving Him, it’s in my best interest to love Him.  And I need to get to know Him in order to love Him.  The more I know Him, the more I will trust Him, the more I trust Him, the more I will love Him.  The more I love Him, the more I will obey Him.  And then the cycle starts all over again so that the knowledge, trust, love and obedience go deeper and deeper.  And the more that I know, trust, love and obey Him, the more others see Him through me.  Sounds like the author of this song knew what they were talking about…..how absolutely amazing and humbling to think that the Great I Am, Creator of All, Almighty, Holy God wants my love.  Unbelievable!

High Water

Perhaps for my first post since the Gospel presentation here in the village, I should be writing about the growth in the church and such and I will write about that.  But today as I listen to the water crash against the shore here in Sinow, I’ve been thinking about who God is and what He’s trying to teach me through high water.  It’s rainy season here in Papua New Guinea and the main Sepik river rises and falls based on the amount of rain up and down the river.  We expect it to come up over the air strip in January or February or even March, but not usually this early in the season.  I just moved into Sinow at the end of October so I’ve not had a cargo flight since I came in.  It’s not like I’m running out of food or anything but I have run out of fresh vegetables.  I can get greens here in the village and I even have some taro and sweet potato at the moment.  But no lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, broccoli or anything.  I have one more container of fuel to make my next run up to Wabuku and back, but then I’m out.  The water kept rising over the weekend so that the strip was partially covered on Sunday.  I was planning on a two-night overnight up in Wabuku, leaving Monday morning.  Sunday night, the rain just kept coming down.  The river came up even higher, so much that the guys taking me to Wabuku preferred to only go for one night so they could get back and get some necessary work done with water in the village and around their houses and gardens – totally understandable but that cut short my visit.  So we went up to Wabuku with beautiful weather and it almost looked like we might get through the night with no more rain…..but no, a good thunder/lightning storm and lots more rain came down.  The water actually went down a couple of inches in Sinow but not enough to help with the air strip situation.  I also found out when I got to Wabuku that my main taper wanted to help me and had left word for me but we had to leave before he’d get back.  So I missed out on a translation opportunity – because of high water.  So we came back and the rain came down again the next night….would it ever end?  I can’t imagine it raining for 40 days and 40 nights like it’s been raining the last week.  Yikes – I have new appreciation for Noah!  Anyway, it was official – the strip was under water by a good 12 inches so today’s fuel flight was cancelled – it had already been delayed from Tuesday.  And the flight that was supposed to happen tomorrow to get my blood taken to check my thyroid levels isn’t going to happen either.  So not only will I not get the fuel I need to keep making trips up to Wabuku, I won’t get the packages that I’d sent myself with medicine and other things in them….and we may not get our cargo in on Tuesday as we’d planned.  The pilot heads to another town for meetings on Wednesday so if the flights don’t happen Monday or Tuesday, I have to figure something else out for the blood draw and wait until December to get more supplies in.  In addition to all the food items, I’m waiting on a 9 volt battery so I can use my oven.  (It’s the igniter for the oven’s pilot light.) There’s no local store to run to for that around here.  So although it’s been a month since the last supply run, I’m not entirely sure how much longer before the next one.  There’s a part of me that would like to get frustrated but how can I?  Part of this is just the reality of living in the jungle.  But apart from that, if I say that I believe that God is good….that He is sovereign….that He is gracious and merciful….that He will take care of His children….that the righteous will not lack for any good thing….then it’s in the midst of high water and no flights and a shorter stay in Wabuku that I have the opportunity to live out what I believe – or not.  Do I just say this with my mouth or with my life too?  If I really believe that is who God is, then how can I complain about His plan and what He has for me right now?  I can but then what do I really believe about God?  My life – my actions say far more than my words what I believe to be true about God.  And I believe He is good and sovereign, able and all the rest, so I just can’t let myself complain or get frustrated.  Sure, my flesh wants to but what good does it do me anyway?  Rest is found in Him.  Walking in the Spirit has rest, joy, peace and all the rest of the fruit with it – so I think I’ll trust Him.  And ask Him to work it out for the flights to happen before Wednesday.  J